Chemistry of Love
As Valentine’s Day approaches, people are especially eager to connect with the perfect partner—and hold onto him or her for good. This is nothing new; mankind has searched for aphrodisiacs for centuries. The ancient Romans slurped down oysters, the Chinese swore by shark fin soup, and the Arabs were keen on camel’s hump.
But for modern romantics, science has some encouraging news: Our body equips us with some natural and powerful aphrodisiacs, along with the tools to make romance last.
Humans have evolved three different brain systems to encourage mating: sex drive (lust), feelings of attachment (trust), and romance (being in love). Each of these systems plays a role in desire, and scientists are now beginning to pinpoint the bodily chemicals that trigger each.
Find the Right Focus in 2010
Have you ever heard it said, “Change your thinking, change your life”? This wise saying is based on the notion that we participate in the construction of our realities. In other words, what we focus on, is what we create. Many people use up most of their air- time and mental real-estate with negativity, “poor-me’s”, and complaints. Is it any wonder that they cannot break free and create the life they wish they had? Whether it’s with career, physical health and appearance, or relationships with loved ones, let 2010 be the year where you intentionally focus on what you’re really trying to create.
Surviving Family Drama during the Holidays
Emily stood in the rain intently staring at the travel poster outside the travel agency. Stunning sandy beaches, sun streaming onto golden beach goers, calm water just as blue as a sapphire. But the photo told only half the story; the headline told the rest:
“Forget the Family Drama & Escape to Barbados for the Holidays!”
Memories of last year’s holiday brought a sting of realization that she still wasn’t talking to her sister after a big fight.
There would be questions and accusations as always – and she would be the bad guy. Again. And with that, Emily was making reservations for Barbados before she even realized what was happening!
Why We Love Halloween
I hope all of you had a fun and interesting Halloween! I’ve always said that Halloween is my favorite holiday: I love dressing up in costume and seeing what everyone else dresses up as. What is it about this activity that we find so enticing? I realize that as children, the main draw was going from house to house to get free candy. But now, as adults, that cannot be it! After all, with cash in my pocket and keys to the car, I could conceivably drive to the nearest CVS and buy a bag of the sugary stuff for myself! No, that’s not it.
In Imago theory, we posit that we come into the world as perfect, complete, vibrating balls of energy. If we receive messages from our caretakers which encourage our thinking, feeling, sensing, moving, being…then we remain relatively whole. If, however, our early messages are repressive (“stay still”, “don’t cry”, ” you’re not smart enough”, “I wish you’d been a boy”, “you were an accident”, etc.) , then certain parts of our wholeness are either shut down or exaggerated. We make these adaptations to our personalities in order to survive the family of origin. These “lost parts” are called the denied self, the lost self, the disowned self, or the “shadow” in Jungian terms.
