2020 has been a rough year so far, but nothing has been harder than the last week. Across the country, people have raised their voices to protest the murder of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery and the many who came before them. Finally, we seem to be unified in a growing awareness of systemic racism and the ever present injustice toward people of color.

As a therapist, I am renewing my commitment to help people live lives which grant them justice, equality, dignity and healing. I am renewing my commitment to look at the ramifications of my own white privilege and the ignorance I’ve held even while feeling enlightened. I apologize for my blindspots and ask my Black friends, clients and colleagues to have patience while I catch up with the best ways to foster change and to support you. To my many colleagues, I ask that you join me in working to make the field of psychotherapy a place of diversity, accessibility, sensitivity and cultural competence.

“..if we ever hope to move past [racism] it can’t just be on people of color to deal with it. It’s up to all of us Black, white, everyone no matter how well-meaning we think we might be, to do the honest, uncomfortable work of rooting it out. It starts with self-examination and listening to those whose lives are different from our own. It ends with justice, compassion, and empathy that manifests in our lives and on our streets. I pray we all have the strength for that journey…”
~ Michelle Obama

Many couples come to therapy needing help with communication. What I’ve learned over the years, is that what’s mostly needed is skill in deep listening. Never has that been truer than now. We all need to listen to the narratives, the stories of pain and persecution, the fear and the trauma that Black people have lived with for far too long. I am encouraged by the massive protests, in the United States and around the world. There is so much work to do, but I am hopeful that the tide is shifting. Let us continue to move forward with curiosity, a deep commitment to change, empathy and love in our hearts for all people.

Writes poet and blogger Scott Woods: “Yes, racism looks like hate, but hate is just one manifestation. Privilege is another. Access is another. Ignorance is another. Apathy is another…So while I agree with people who say no one is born racist, it remains a powerful system that we’re immediately born into.” This is where we begin to build a power message of anti-racism.

If you say, All Lives Matter, when you hear Black Lives Matter, you’re missing the point. All lives do matter, but it’s time to focus on the lives that are most endangered and undervalued in our society. Do what you can. Some of us are protesting, some are staying home praying, many of us are donating to the various organizations set up to support this effort. We don’t have to get it just right, but we do need to educate ourselves and renew our commitment to making America a safe and productive home for our most abused citizens. And we need to listen.

What if 2020 isn’t cancelled?
What if 2020 is the year we’ve been waiting for?
A year so uncomfortable, so painful, so scary, so raw – that it finally forces us to grow.
A year that screams so loud, finally awakening us from our ignorant slumber.
A year we finally accept the need for change.
Declare change. Work for change. Become the change.
A year we finally band together, instead of pushing each other further apart.

2020 isn’t cancelled, but rather the most important year of them all.
~ Leslie Dwight

I’m listening. Feel free to reach out if you want to talk to me. Let’s make 2020 the most important year of them all.

Below are some resources that might help you on your journey.

Anti-racist books to read:
https://news.yahoo.com/anti-racist-books-top-amazon-220122623.html

Anti-racist podcasts to listen to:
https://www.elle.com/culture/movies-tv/g32732684/anti-racism-podcasts/

Anti-racist movies and TV shows to stream:
https://www.glamour.com/story/anti-racist-movies-tv-shows-streaming