How Long Should You Wait Before Having Sex with a Guy?

Not to take away from the magic of that first kiss, but let’s talk about what’s really going on in the beginning of a new relationship.

Before deep love has time to take root, we experience strong infatuation and it’s taking place at the neuro-chemical level. Two central chemicals are at play: dopamine and oxytocin. First of all, dopamine is the “feel good”, “foot on the gas”, “got to have it” chemical. It drives you to want to have sex as soon as possible with your new love interest.

When you do, you also encourage the production of oxytocin. Oxytocin is the “cuddle”, “bonding”, “unconditional love” hormone.

So, here’s what you need to consider: once you start having sex with a man, dopamine is supplying the “kick” and “drive” and oxytocin is causing you to “fall in love”. Having sex too soon in the relationship will most likely have you bonding to a man who you scarcely know outside the bedroom and who may be all wrong for you in other significant ways.

And guess what else? Dopamine goes straight to the pleasure receptors in the brain which demand more and more “to get high”.

How many women have told me that they know he’s all wrong but they can’t seem to break away?

Rule of thumb – date for a few months. Get to know your man’s dreams, values, and goals over an array of circumstances. If it’s right, sex will still be there. Sweet, erotic and bonding with the man of your dreams!

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